Shawn’s Zombie Silhouette Helps Paint

You all remember when I turned the tables on Jen from Jen and Tonic over at Jen Tours The Minesite?  Jen has this Troublemaker series in which… well… take a look..

So in a new turn of events I’m hijacking her Troublemaker series idea again and I’d like to introduce you to Shawn Sullivan The Zombie.

I first met Shawn over at his blog called TheeUnseen.  His podcasts caught my eyes (see: ears) and I got addicted.  But what conned me over was “My Brain in the AM:” ( … So go check it out for a good laugh.

But to the story at hand, Shawn mention something about Zombie Silhouettes, it was 3 in the morning and I didn’t pay attention and just said “Yeah Sure”.

“Thanks, John.  About midday.” and our communication was terminated.

Wait, what?  What’s midday?

Well apparently he was sending his zombie doppleganger, the sun was in my eyes as this stumbling mess walked towards me, he looked dehydrated and hungry.  So I offered him a beer and some snags from the BBQ.  After he managed to grunt a little, I think his throat was still parched, so I offered a few more beers, and he started to become more coherent, something about brains and food and something…  So after some rare steak and a few more beers he was running after the kids in a game of chase.   I conned him to give me a hand to paint the kids fort, in payment of beers and tucker.

I pulled out the large screwdriver to open the tin of paint and he went all crazy and aggressive murmuring something about “not the head!!”.  I ignored the moment thinking he was having a flashback or something and opened the tin and he seemed to relax.  I handed him the drill with the paint mixer attachment and got him to mix up the paint while I prepped the surface of the kids fort.

John The Aussie

We got sorted and I gave ol’ mate a paint brush and had to explain over and over again not to put the bloody thing in his mouth but to paint with the grain of wood in even long strokes.  He eventually got it, but started to worry about the not keeping in the line like he used to before his ‘change’.  I didn’t want to ask but I think his change was a sex change, because the way he walked looked like he hadn’t mastered not getting chafe on his… err… mini brains?

John The Aussie

Under the fort we had uneven ground from the kids digging holes the size of craters made from marbles,  so our guest offered to hold it steady.  My son wandered over to have a bit of a yarn and to see how his two contract painters were coming along, all we got was “Missed a spot Daddy…” or “Can I help?” .  Pfft, like we couldn’t do it ourselves kiddo.

John The Aussie

The job was done, I offered him a coffee but he drained the blood from the steak tray instead.  You Americans seriously eat weird shit sometimes.  I made some crack about him drinking blood like a vampire and asked why he wasn’t glittering (all in good humor) and the bastard went apeshit!  Throwing stuff around, trying to grab me.

John The Aussie

Now, I’m not a bloke who doesn’t allow his kids to beat the hell out of each other with a foam sword or bat and I had a proud moment when my son figured a way to settle this over-reacting doppleganger down…  Seriously, never been more proud.

John The Aussie

Thanks for reading this BS yarn and to see more of Shawn’s work, whether story, blog, podcast or artwork check out the following links.



Happy Belated Birthday Shawn

~ by John the Aussie on September 9, 2012.

26 Responses to “Shawn’s Zombie Silhouette Helps Paint”

  1. I’m laughing so hard…

    I love how your son is smiling away, so oblivious to the killer zombie on the other side of the paint can!

    • It could be vindictive thoughts running through his head too. The cricket bat incident might have been pre-meditated. I wouldn’t put it past him, he’s a smart kid at times.

      But I prefer your innocent version better. It makes my 5 year old seem so much younger. They grow too quick.

      • My “baby” sister is turning 18 in a few months, and my nephew (who I swear was born yesterday) is turning 6 in October. Seriously, where does the time go?

      • Indeed, time seems to fly when you’re between, away at work and back home 60/40 throughout the year. I swear my kids can grow an inch and learn a chapter if the dictionary over the week I’m away.

  2. I love this! What fun 🙂

  3. I wonder if hes smiling despite the zombie or, because he is John’s kid, smiling because of it!

  4. Two blog entries lately……….feeling a bit frisky?

    I visited THE UNSEEN BLOG as per your directions. Don’t ask me why.

  5. You’re DEFINITELY raising your kids right! LOL Beating the crap out of the zombies and watching blood and gore movies.

  6. I guess I need to check this out. Are the silhouettes made by zombies, or are the people who are silhouetted zombies? Or, is it a service provided by zombies exclusively for zombies? If it’s strictly for zombies, we may have a discrimination problem. This is especially important in the USA where discrimination is strictly prohibited by any group living or dead. I really didn’t think I’d have to deal with this kind of matter today. I better call my lawyers about this before I even look at the site. Even though I like zombies (some of my best friends are zombies) I don’t want to be accused of discrimination by association.

    • It’s 3 am and I’m off to work. I got confused by 4th sentence.

      Let me read it again…..

      Oh. Nah, It’s all good. Zombies, people and anything else that can read or not is welcome. I think a chimera is even an editor there, but don’t quote me on it.

  7. […] was the latest to do a write up, in a very unique and entertaining way, here at his blog… SleepingInsomniacs .  You simply must check it out.  And don’t forget to subscribe to his blog(s) for more […]

  8. Loved it. Thanks for taking me out of the moment. 🙂

  9. Cool fun post! Kids n zombies or should it be kids are zombies 🙂

    • When I was a kid it was cowboys and Indians or cops an robbers or wolverine vs sabertooth or autobot vs decepticon or even astroboy vs random evil robot.

      My kids along with their friends play army vs aliens or zombie chasey

      I think I’m proud, just not sure yet…

      But until the kids are glued to a screen with a controller in their hand, I think I’m safe to assume they are not zombies, yet.

  10. Hee hee hee! 😀

Go on, give us a yarn or two, mate.

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