The Aussie’s “In the beginning”

In the beginning Ol Mate created day and night. He created day for footy matches, going to the beach and BBQs.
He created night for going prawning, sleeping and BBQs, and Ol Mate saw that it was good.

On the Second Day, Ol Mate created water – for surfing, – swimming and BBQs on the beach and Ol Mate saw that it was good.

On the Third Day Ol Mate created the Earth to bring forth plants – – to provide malt and yeast for beer and wood for BBQs, and Ol Mate saw that it was good.On the Fourth Day Ol Mate created animals and crustaceans for chops, sausages, steak and prawns for BBQs, And Ol Mate saw that it was good.On the Fifth day Ol Mate created a bloke – to go to the footy, enjoy the beach, drink the beer and eat the meat and prawns at BBQs, and Ol Mate saw that it was good.

On the Sixth Day Ol Mate saw that the Bloke was lonely and needed someone to go to the footy, surf, drink beer, eat and stand around the barbie with. So Ol Mate created mates, and Ol Mate saw that they were good blokes, and Ol Mate saw that it was good.

On the Seventh Day Ol Mate looked around at the twinkling barbie fires, heard the hiss of opening beer cans and the raucous laughter of all the blokes. He smelled the aroma of grilled chops and sizzling snags and Ol Mate Saw that it was good …..

Well. .

Almost good. He saw that the blokes were too tired to clean up and needed a rest. So Ol Mate created Sheilas- to clean the house,to bear children, to wash, to cook and to clean the Barbie, and then Ol Mate saw that it was not just good.

It was better than that,

it was Bloody Awesome!

IT WAS AUSTRALIA!

John The Aussie

“12 Apostles” (Down Under Natural Monuments)
Photo by Philip Greenwood and available for purchase at:
http://philipgreenwood.com.au/product/coastline/12-apostles/

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~ by John the Aussie on November 22, 2012.

22 Responses to “The Aussie’s “In the beginning””

  1. Now that’s what you call the best tourist advert for Australia ever! Beats the English one of: “Come visit England, it’s a bit wet, a bit grey and smells funny.”

  2. The Bible according to John?

  3. Let us all bow our heads and THANK Ol Mate for giving us these things so we could go forth and BBQ…Cheers!!!
    xx
    Sooz

  4. Can’t “Like” this because of the mysoginistic ideas toward women (Sheilas), but I realize it was a joke, so I’m just going to sigh & move on. (sigh)

    • There are a set of Aussie BBQ rules written by a woman… Very sexist towards the ideals of how women should act when her husband is “hosting” the BBQ… funny as hell… I’ll get it up on here when I get the chance

  5. Us Sheilas are good for more than that. We have the secret sauce! Not that kind! The BBQ sauce.

  6. Cheeky bugger 😀

  7. Well, not so sure I should have “LIKED” this one seeing as the Ol Mate was a female to begin with and just needed some blokes to watch for entertainment! She knew they couldn’t take care of the business at the end of the day either! LOL Yes … the secret sauce! That’s it, we also have the secret sauce!

  8. That was bloody good. Hey whats a snag?

  9. Cute! 😉

  10. Oi, Mate! Loved it! That’s my kind of gospel. 😉
    Congratulations! You’ve been nominated for a blog Award!
    To end the mystery about the type of award, follow this link: http://richardleonard.wordpress.com/2012/12/15/the-very-inspiring-blogger-award/

Go on, give us a yarn or two, mate.

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