Aussie Authors: Don’t tell mum I work on the rigs, she thinks I’m a piano player in a whore house.

[Before I begin.  I’d apologize for not posting often, but it wouldn’t be sincere in any way.  I’ve been busy with reading, kids birthdays, renovations, reviewing, spending time with wife, lots of coffee’s, finished my extensions of my side story for WZF and submitted it to an editor, rewriting 80,000 words for my story so that a character can be an Australian removing dialogue – puns – insults – banter – was lucky the editor only did the first two chapters and I will hold the cash as credit until I re-write the story.  I’ve also been neglecting, after a semi re-write and character profiles, ‘The Unchosen’ story I am writing.

We Promote You For FREE So Use Us.   – so go check out this!  Also, if ya want to skip the main man, email me at sleepinginsomniacs@gmail.com 

So due to the many books I’ve collected, bought, traded, received and sent to friends for second opinions I decided to do a few reviews here of Australian authors who I  think suits my blog and don’t fit into A knife and Quill.  Without further delay I will introduce to you the first book I ever purchased at an Airport]

  John The Aussie

Author: Paul Carter

Pages: 204 page

Published: 2006

Genre: Biographical Comedy

Paul Carter takes us on the highlights of his career as an oil pig.  The Scottish born, Australian based author’s book Don’t Tell Mum I Work on the Rigs, She Thinks I’m a Piano Player in a Whorehouse is definitely not for everyone.  But hey, if you like my crudeness, you’ll love his point-blank honesty, optimism and suitably placed cursing.  Not surprisingly, since he’s been kidnapped, hijacked, shot at,  almost died of dysentery in Asia and toothache in Russia, watched a Texan lose his mind in the jungles of Asia , lost a lot of money backing a mouse against a scorpion in a fight to the death…and that (was) just his day job.  With 20 years of working in the field (10 at the time of the book I believe), he knows his shit, an he’s seen everything that can happen in these, dirty, low life yet tightest fitting ‘brotherly’ environments one can ever work in.

On top!  If it wasn’t enough to be captured by his own pet orangutan and left to die until the primate ran out of beer, he decided to share even more of his escapades (after a finishing promise of his last book)

John The Aussie

Author: Paul Carter

Pages: 204 page

Published: 2010

Genre: Biographical Comedy

Paul Carter has worked in the oil industry now for 15 years. Paul has lived, worked, gotten into trouble, and been given a serious talking to in England, Scotland, Germany, France, Holland, Norway, Portugal, Tunisia, Australia, Nigeria, Russia, Singapore, Malaysia, Borneo, Columbia, Vietnam, Thailand, Papua New Guinea, Sumatra, the Philippines, Korea, Japan, China, USA, and Saudi Arabia.

He shares even more stories.

These are not an autobiography, nor chronological, but a read for those that love their books served straight without the ice nor soda.  I nearly pissed myself laughing and stopped after every chapter or three just to catch my breath and give my abdominals a reprieve from the harsh workout.

I seriously recommend picking these up, and adding them to your collection.

Amazon Links:
Don’t Tell Mum I Work on the Rigs, She Thinks I’m a Piano Player in a Whorehouse

This is not a drill, just another glorious day in the oilfield

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~ by John the Aussie on July 15, 2012.

23 Responses to “Aussie Authors: Don’t tell mum I work on the rigs, she thinks I’m a piano player in a whore house.”

  1. Love the titles. I be checking them out

  2. They both sound like good diversionary reads and a great laugh at that!

    • It was a good change of genre from my usual fantasy reads and it got me reading hundreds of other Aussie author books shortly after. Even inspired me to read Aussie history.

      It cleaned the reading pallet for sure.

  3. So you are NOT a piano player in a whore house?

  4. Will take a look thanks

  5. “And mine!! Pick me!!”

    Hi John the Aussie! I was just reading my incoming stuff and see that you left the above comment on Verbatim Gibberish.

    I decided to feel sorry for you and come over and say Hi and see what kind of Gibberish you are putting out. Looks like a lot of DUMB stuff. 🙂

    Come on over and see my DUMB stuff.

  6. You’re so funny…and btw, you had me at “lots of coffee’s”!! 🙂 I skipped right over the wife part…JUST KIDDING WIFEY!!

    • Coffee is the nectar of motiviation… I am constantly motivated, but it seems I can never concentrate on one thing… I need to find the balance of strength vs focus I believe.

      • Coffee is the nectar of life!! LOL. Focus is an important tool. I notice so often that I get distracted very easily and know it’s time to turn to my notebook. I’m most functional as a list person. Even if I only have a couple things to do, I write them down and don’t mark them off until I’ve gotten every part of it done. That way, the list keeps me focused and the coffee keeps me happy!! 🙂

  7. Love the title! How could anyone resist buying this!

  8. Ive always seen this book in shops and wondered whether I should give it a read .. I think I might have to buy myself a copy now , Thanks for the review ! 😀

  9. […] Aussie Authors: Don’t tell mum I work on the rigs, she thinks I’m a piano player in a whore hou… […]

  10. hay hows it going i read your book and fuck me what a read your a animal and the narrated verstion was even better was wanting to know where i would beable to bye another copy of the narrated version ? thanks

  11. Hi Paul, you don’t really know me, as I have only met you and Claire once at Goldie’s, but I am Josh’s mum, Jan
    Glennon, Chris’s wife. For whatever it’s worth I just wanted to let you know that both your books (which Josh purchased…audio…prior to his disastrous asthma attach) give him an enormous amount of pleasure, one because he knows you personally and likes you big time, and two, never fails to laugh at the appropriate times throughout your tales. I always tell him “would you like me to put potty mouth Pauly on, followed by I will have to speak to Claire about this to wash his mouth out with soap and water), all of which he responds with the appropriate chuckles, which of course is a delight to me. My query is do you have any other books of a similar nature in the offing that I can purchase for Josh? Hoping to hear back from you,
    Kind regards, Jan

    • Hi Jan,

      I’m really sorry, but I am not Paul Carter. Though Jealous you’ve met him.

      I’m glad yourself and Josh enjoy his books and I can tell you that he has has another called “Is that thing diesel?” Where he rides a motorcycle around Australia. I am also sure it was turned into a movie/documentary. Any Aussie bookstore has his books or is able to order them. I am completely unaware where to find the doco, bbutI would look at ABC shops or any video store which you could request an order. The audio book is available for this also.

      Once again, I’m sorry I am not Paul. I am unsure of how to contact him.

      I hope I have at least helped somewhat,

      John The Aussie

Go on, give us a yarn or two, mate.

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