I’m just a Dumbestic Goddess …… showing 20 symptoms of parenthood

So i’ve been noticing a few things lately.  I don’t seem to be my usual self.  Come to think of it it’s been coming on a few years now.  I’ve tried googling it, various diagnoseme.com’s, even asking family and friends who might have some idea but i just can’t put my finger on it…..see if you can figure it out…..


1. I haven’t slept a decent nights sleep in nearly 5yrs

2. Apparently all my privacy priviledges have been revoked in regards to using the bathroom

3. The contents of my wardrobe seems to have shifted to the looser/more coverage side of the scale

4. While grocery shopping i will rock the trolley back and forth while waiting in line

5. Whilst standing in conversation i sway back and forth

6. I have no idea what music is hot or not but i can tell you every word of almost every nursery rhyme

7. What use to be known as essentials (wallet, keys, phone) no longer fit in my handbag because it’s now stuffed with wipes, nappies, teethers and dummies

8. I no longer recall what it’s like to have a HOT coffee

9. I haven’t used an alarm clock to wake in the morning for years and yet i’m up and ready before most people who need to get to a day job

10. Lunch and even sometimes dinner is usually some little persons leftovers

11. I think i can remember what the inside of a cinema looks like

12. I launch into full conversation mode with the local checkout ladies when a simple “Hi, fine thanks” will do

13. Checkout Ladies can be the only other adults i see each week

14. I get just as excited about sitting down with a book once the house is quiet as i use to about heading out on a Saturday night

15. All my clothes seem to either smell of spew or have weird stains on them

16. I’ve replaced my workout routine with bending down and picking things up ALL DAY LONG

17. I’ve started reciting things my mother use to say to me as a child

18. I’ve almost left the house umpteen times in my Pj’s because i simple forget i’m not actually dressed yet (and it can be at 2pm)

19. My house is never clean no matter how much housework i do

20. These little people who live in my house keep calling me MUM! – what is up with that


Any ideas folks?????

Nope ….

Oh wait…..

It’s coming to me……


oh yeah PARENTHOOD!!!!!




~ by proudaussiemama on January 14, 2012.

4 Responses to “I’m just a Dumbestic Goddess …… showing 20 symptoms of parenthood”

  1. No 4! My sister does that lmao

  2. No 14 – Awesome. I remember the first that feeling of excitement came over me just by having a moment of peace and quiet and time to read a few pages. I remember thinking “my dreams are now very small indeed!”

  3. LMAO…, brings back memories. Have you had to frisk them yet as you’re leaving the store or a friend’s house. Yup, I gave birth to two light fingered Louies. Even had to sew their pockets closed to keep them from tucking shinny objects into them. Thank God they finally grew out of it…lol.

  4. This made my grin. I would have smiled, but I have recently raised a child of my own — a small Pug puppy — and spent weeks either waking up in a puddle of urine or taking him outside at 4:30am to avoid waking up in a puddle of urine.

    I am not a morning person at all, and I tend to wonder waking up in urine every morning may not have been the better of two evils.


Go on, give us a yarn or two, mate.

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