I may be a dumb eskimo; But Seriously, Smart people can be idiots.

I tend to rant and rave about some of the idiots that I get calling in on our support lines, let’s face it 90% of them deserve it but every now and again I am reminded that sometimes our techs can be just as bad . . . if not worse as my grandfather used to say an informed man is a dangerous one. No one is a more apparent example of this as is one of the techs we commonly talk to, let’s call him Timmy. He has time and time again proven to us all that he while feigning intelligence has the common sense and technical know-how of a 3 month old baboon. The following is a call (with explanations of some of the technical aspects) that took place 5 minutes before the end of my shift, I did not leave until 3 hours later.

Me: Thank you for calling the *****’s call center this is Andrew speaking how can I help you today?
Tech: Hello Andrew this is Timmy calling from the Reidville RD *****’s.
Me: Hi Timmy first thing I need to know is what your unit number is.
Tech: Oh hold on a sec, where would I find that?
Me: It should be listed at the top of your receipts.
Tech: Hold on let me ask the manager.
Me: (after waiting for him to come back) Hey Timmy are you a tech or a Manager?
Tech: Oh I’m a tech and the manager doesn’t know what unit this is do you still need it?
Me: Yes can you check the receipts for me?
Tech: Well I don’t want to buy nothing…
Me: You don’t have to buy anything just print off an old receipt or ask a server to do it for you.
Tech: Oh ok (10 minutes later, seriously I was watching the clock because I was already working over.)
Tech: I’m at unit XXXX.
Me: Okay looks like you’re out there for a switch down right? (ok here’s the technical part, a switch is a piece of equipment that allows all other pieces of equipment in our restaurants to talk, We use managed ones and what that means is that each device has a specific plug it needs to be plugged in to, moving them at all will cause the system to shut that plug down until we can get into the system and reset it and reprogram it to resume for the correct device)
Tech: Yea I’ve already finished (strike one, WE don’t allow techs into the back offices before they call because we need to back up all the orders and credit cards before they get started) but now all of the registers have gone into standalone (They Cannot talk) Mode.
Me: Okay what did you do to the Switch?
Tech: I cleaned up and reorganized all of the cables so that they were not taking up as much room and then replaced the power supply (at this point I sit back and prepare for a loooong call)
Me: Ok sir you say you reorganized all of the cables did you make sure to plug all of the cables back into the correct ports?
Tech: What do you mean?
Me: (Oh great that’s what I thought) we use a managed switch sir give me one moment.
(Checking the plug in status of all the ports I see that all of them have been locked up… great)
Okay sir it looks like you’ve managed to plug all of the cables into the wrong ports. I’m going to need you to go back into the office.
Tech: umm I’ve actually been here for a while now I was hoping that I could just come back tonight I need to get some sleep. (Are you fucking kidding me?!)
Me: No I’m sorry you’ve been up for a while and are tired but this would’ve been finished relatively quickly if you had called before going into the office like you are supposed to.
Tech: Well what do you want me to do now? (this being said in an exasperated tone I’m starting to lose my temper, My boss is just coming in and seeing me still here wanders over to listen in)
Me: Well I’m going to reset the port security for plug 1, can you find the chord labeled line 1 and plug it into there.
Tech: Okay I’m in the Back office, were you talking about the tape labels? They were old and worn so I had torn those off. (At this point I’m starting to think this is a prank)
Me: Okay did you get them relabeled?
Tech: well no I thought they were just being used for running them through the walls.
Me: . . . no those are supposed to be labeled so that when we go to check to make sure their plugged in right it’s a quick process. Now instead of that were going to need to do each plug 22 times to see where it goes.
(There was an abundance of bitching and moaning following this as I went through each plug until I managed to find its correct port. 2 and a half hours later)
Me: Okay were almost done w…
Tech: Finally so I can go? (You all know how much I love people interrupting me)
Me: No not yet there’s a few things we need to check first , First I need you to go to each of the terminals and send an order to the kitchen and then cash each of them out on both registers.
Tech: Wait can’t I just have the managers do that?
Me: No you need to do it so the manager can continue doing their job.
Tech: Grumbles… Okay.
Me: (at this point I’m watching all of the terminals to make sure that all of the orders go through without error, after 10 min I’ve only seen one order put in and it was one too large to be the techs fake order)
Tech: Okay I did it and they all went through fine.
Me: Umm, I was watching the terminals Timmy there was no orders put in, do I need to contact a supervisor?
Tech: Fuck you dude I’ve been here way over my prescribed time anyways.
Me: That’s fine Timmy I’ll go ahead and call your supervisor and we’ll get this resolved.( at this point I’m standing at my desk and my boss over hearing my mention of a supervisor and having been talking to me regarding the call up to this point over email, walks over ready for an ear full)
Tech: You go ahead and do that jack hole we shouldn’t have to stay over this late anyways.
And he hangs up…
I tell my manager what has just occurred and he laughs and calls the techs supervisor, 15 minutes later I’m done putting the notes into the ticket and vendor complaint and my boss comes back over.
Boss: Alright the techs on unpaid suspension for 3 weeks, and Eric (The supervisor) would like to personally apologize for the way the tech handled it. You go home and get some sleep you can come in late tonight to make up for the time.
So you see sometimes the people we trust to be informed can be every bit as thick as the common dredges who fail to understand the difference between a desk top and a lap top. John The Aussie

~ by noriliszione on January 12, 2012.

10 Responses to “I may be a dumb eskimo; But Seriously, Smart people can be idiots.”

  1. Ahh geez… When the help become the helpless.

  2. oh lord. You poor guy.

  3. Andrew, you know that I know what you have to deal with on a daily basis but you are a TROOPER!!

  4. I can’t help but feel a tinge of guilt when I laugh while reading your posts. I’m so sorry you have so many facepalm moments. I do hope your nose isn’t flatter. 🙂

    But thank you. For making me laugh.

    • My Alaskian guest truly has some moments, though his nose is fine, I’ve seen pictures… However he does seem to be getting an indent on his forehead from banging his head on the desk.

      Thanks for stopping by.

    • I think the desk has more of a dent then I do… I just picture headbutting the people and my head fines away come

      • I think a picture of your work station would be very amusing. I’m imagining a few messed up stress balls, boxes of lavender tea, a super kickass Nerf gun & a dented table. Oh. & wine bottles with Post-Its that read “Relax. :)”

      • Actually im kind of ocd about my desk and keep it clean. Even keep a travel bottle of cleaner in the drawers to wipe it down

  5. Ye gods this reminds me why I left IT. It just wasn’t worth the stress and the never-ending flood of idiots one had to deal with.

Go on, give us a yarn or two, mate.

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