I may be a Dumb Eskimo; but seriously, my family makes me cringe somtimes.

I love my family and friends with a passion and would defend them all to the grave but there are moments in my life where I would like nothing more then to run as far away from them as possible, the next few stories are examples of those times:

Science classes

Me: Ally your never gonna guess I’m not taking any science classes this semester! (shows her my class schedule)

Cousin Ally: (looks at me strangely) Yes you do right here Science Fiction.

Berlin Wall

Ally: So wait the berlin wall was in germany?

Me: Yes… why do you think they called it the “Berlin” wall?

Ally: I thought some guy named Berlin built it or tore it down or something.

Me: ….

Fax

Grandmother: Okay I’m going to fax you over the email but could you fax it back over when your done I only have the one copy.

Me: … bama look in the tray

Grandmother: Oh my there’s a lot of faxes in here did you reprint all the ones I’ve faxed before.

Me: No bama when you fax them they just take and send an image of the document it never leaves your house.

Grandmother: Oh then do I need to resend them?

Me: no… nevermind don’t worry about it I did it with magic bama lots and lots of magic.

Gas?

Amy (friend): Hey Andrew sorry to call you but that car I got has stopped working.

Me: What happened?

Amy: well it started sputtering and then hissed and wouldn’t go anymore.

Me: was your gas tank empty?

Amy: no it says a quarter of a tank

Me: hmm ok ill be there in abit.

10 min later

Me: this tank is bone dry when’s the last time you filled it?

Amy: I haven’t yet.

Me: but you’ve had it for a month?

Amy: yea but its not gone under a quarter tank

Me: … (goes over and flicks the gauge and it immediately goes all the way down) heh yea these used cars gauges sometimes stick.. you need to put fuel in car to make it vroom vroom.

~ by noriliszione on October 15, 2011.