A deep Cleaning

As a computer gets older they tend to develop layers of dust on the inside and outside of them. A conscience user can lessen the effect of this by periodically blowing the dust out with cans of compressed air you can buy at most any office supply store. That being said that is ALL you should do to clear the dust otherwise you might end up like this next caller:

Me: Thank you for calling the *****’s call center this is Andrew speaking how can I help you?

Caller: beep beep beeeeeep beep (this is the phone beeping as the caller obviously hadn’t been paying attention and thought I was a computer…)

Me: I’m here hello?

Caller: Oh hello I did not think I would get a real person (…) this is Sanjeep from unit XXXX I am calling because of my computer is not starting and has been acting slow all night.

Me: okay sir do me a favor if you could please locate the power cord on the back of the pc where you put your CD’s into and unplug it for 10 seconds and then plug it back in.

Caller: okay I found it you want me to unplug it?

Me: Yes sir for 10 seconds and then plug it back in.

Caller: Okay (3 seconds later) Plug it back in now?

Me: no sir a few more seconds( 20 seconds later cause he’s irritating me) okay sir go ahead and plug it in and attempt to start it up.

Caller: It will not come up at all should I wipe out the inside again?

Me: Wait… you wiped out the inside? Of what the thing I had you reboot?

Caller: Yes my tower computer, it was filled with dust and grime so I scrubbed the inside of it with some steel wool to clean it. But it was mostly clean now why?

Me: (my supervisor now sees me slamming my head on my desk repeatedly and wave him over) Just one moment sir. (I inform my supervisor of what the manager has told me and he looks at me shakes his head and walks outside to smoke.) Okay sir here’s the thing what you did to the computer has irreversibly broken it. At no point should you EVER open up our computers, this is why we have a contract with techs to go out there and do that for you. I’m Gon…

Caller: (interrupting me…god I hate it when people do that) what do you mean I broke it I did not broke it you are a liar I am not a stupid person it is not like I used water on it. Why are you making these lies about me are you trying to get me in trouble huh?!

Me: No sir but what you did has destroyed the machine. Steel Wool is not the correct choice for sensitive computer equipment at most you should have used a can of compressed air to clean off the top layer of dust. Now I’ll call you right back after I get an ETA from the tech for when he can be out there (after 10 min more where I get some boring technical info from him)

Caller: Okay so should I Plug the computer back in now?

Me: (I visualize myself strangling this guy as my boss comes in and stands behind my desk) No sir with it being completely down as it is that won’t be necessary.

3 hours later…

Tech: Hey Andrew this is Charlie, what the hell have you got me into?

Me: (chuckle) how bad is it Charlie the guy thought that scrubbing the motherboard with steel wool was a good idea.

Charlie: (groan) yea that makes sense why there’s now a flat unadorned peace of plastic in here… good news though the inside of the case has never looked so clean.

Me: Alright Charlie the new pc up and running?

Charlie: Yup and I’ll repossess all the steel wool on my way out.

5 min later boss comes over and shows me the new stress ball he’s drawn on…it has Sanjeep’s face and name on it and he places it on my desk.

things I’ve learned on this call, All idiots become ever worst the moment they start trying to use technical jargon and two my boss is still pretty dang awesome.

John The Aussie

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~ by noriliszione on October 8, 2011.

3 Responses to “A deep Cleaning”

  1. You have got to be kidding me…. Seriously… Put in the cartonage rules, this system has beed intalled at every mine I have worked at. Every screw up, you must give a carton to the person who fixes your problem, who in which shares it with their crew.

  2. I would much rather have the money.

Go on, give us a yarn or two, mate.

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