I’m Just a Dumb Eskimo; But seriously, Anyone have a Non-Magical Stapler

Sometimes Managers tell us stories to try and push the blame on something or someone else. We hear it all the time I didn’t unplug the plug with the huge sign that says do not unplug for any reason my employee did. Or the computer must’ve changed the employee to make them non re-hirable on its own. The following story surpasses all of that and goes to the point of the ridiculous.

Me: Thank you for calling the *****’s Call Center this is Andrew speaking how can I help you today?

Caller: (sounding very much out of breath and overly stressed) Yes thank god you answered, Listen This is Tim from unit XXXX I was doing my inventory and all of a sudden the computer started to log it self off.

Me: Did you save your Work?

Caller: well, no I was trying to but that’s when it started doing it.

Me: I’m looking at our keystroke viewer and it looks like someone on your end had Pressed CTRL+ALT+DEL and then logoff, was this you sir.

Caller: oh no that must have been when the stapler fell down from the shelf.

Me: (5 seconds pass as I sit in silence not sure that what I heard could be correct I figure I’m starting to lose it) the stapler sir?

Caller: Yea it was the darnedest thing the stapler fell on my computer keyboard thing and it started logging off.

Me: … so what your claiming is that the stapler fell off the shelf somehow managed to hit the keyboard in just the right way to first depress the ctrl alt delete key and then “Bounce” and hit the enter key…Twice…

Caller: Look it’s what happened can you just open up the inventory for me again without me having to recount everything.

Me: (having someone try to claim something so ridiculous actually happened while attempting to get me to bend procedure does not make me happy so time to be a little vindictive) Okay sir all I need is for your area manager to send us an email here to the entire helpdesk with a description as to why it needs to be reopened including the incident that led up to it.

Caller: What why do I need to have him email in can’t I just do it.

Me: No sir unfortunately you don’t have the necessary clearance. We’ll need to verify its from an Approved contact.

Caller: F*** alright I’ll call him.( dial tone follows.)

15 min later my boss calls me from home

Me: Thank you for calling the *****’s Call Center this is Andrew speaking how can I help you today?

Boss: Andrew… this is a joke right?

Me: What?

Boss: I just got an email from an area manager talking about magic staplers and requesting for inventory to be reopened for a store.

Me: Not a joke that’s what the manager claimed how would you like me to proceed?

Boss: Reopen it and send them a stapler from our office supplies with a sticky note on it that says “Non-Magical Stapler”.

…Coolest Boss Ever.

~ by noriliszione on September 10, 2011.