I’m Just a dumb Miner – whats your excuse? Billy goat Gruff…

So me and the fitter were actually talking about the weather when four goats walk up the ramp and deviate towards us 32meters and closing –

30meters – Me “Shit”
29meters – Fitter “Wot?”
27 “What the hell are you suppose to do when goats charge at ya?
24 “Huh?”
23 I know what to day if a snake charges ya – if a bull charges, a bear, a werewolf even a farking vampire – but what are you suppose to do when a goat charges ?

19 meters to go Fitter ” Farked if I know” and he takes a step back

17 meter to go – goats freeze and lead goat shifts weight to back legs staring at us

Frozen meterage – I clench my fists and shift my weight onto my left leg ready to put a boot into the thing the moment they charge

Fitter takes a few more steps back and goats charge

And they take a left run up a rill and take the first moutthful of grass like a lion to a jugular than looks at us and chews at the almighty speed of a turtle.

Me “well that was easy” And I grab the camera and take a photo of the wildlife just as the battery goes dead
John The Aussie

So we are telling the blokes at lunch of our near death encounter (at our own expense of course) bring up a few laughs and smiles over the exageration of movements from the fitter and the impressions he was doing of me and even funnier the impressions of the goats.

All of a sudden from the depth of our single lined crowd of 5 blokes – a voice is heard – “So what are you suppose to do when goats charge” – without skipping a beat ther fitter continues his impressions of Dundee and the water buffolo but instead of the traditional finger and thumb out he was doing the international symbol of rock

Kid from Brissie “Makes sense”


I come after thew weekend after telling the family the previous yarn and was putting flyer up on the notice board when i noticed an incident report –

Kid from brissie
Bruised legs
And a witness statement saying some moron trying to rock it out with goats

John The Aussie


~ by John the Aussie on July 3, 2011.

One Response to “I’m Just a dumb Miner – whats your excuse? Billy goat Gruff…”

  1. […]  I’m Just a dumb Miner – whats your excuse? Billy goat Gruff… […]

Go on, give us a yarn or two, mate.

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