I’m Just a dumb Miner – whats your excuse? Chicks, Birds & long legs

Now to put some of this in perspective (I knew this before the conversation) my passenger – he is 39, never been out of Australia, has a the southern cross inked on his back, has bundy, xxxx, vb and fosters bumper stickers on his holden ute with the southern cross sticker on the back window. (and for some reason one pink mud plate and one black mudplate from somewhere in europe)

And his home town of Marree is pretty much on Lake Eyre. Where he left to educate himself at Uni is some ill begotten spot in S.A. and minored in Australian History.

We were driving – in silence – listening to radio, when a bird waddles across the road

Passenger says like an yankee tourist on an aussie safari “Oh my god! A baby emu!!”
So I replied in a very monotone voice “It’s a Brolga”
Passenger still on edge like he saw a bunyip “I thought they were called hatchlings or chicks”
Where I reply in a more agressive tone “It’s not a baby emu it’s a farking brolga!!”
Passenger was kinda held back, a little shocked from my aggresive tone”dude calm down I never knew what a baby emu was called”

At this point it was hard it was not to throw him out of a moving car!!!!

I explained to him the difference between an emu and a brolga – the sheer stupidity of an Australian Bloke from Marree did not ever hear of a brolga or was aware we had large wetland birds and went on further to question
“OKAY! OKAY! I understand two different birds! But do we still have flamingoes in Australia right?”. silence…..I think “Okay he’s thinking about wetland birds”…….. more silence……

John the Aussie

Passenger “John?”
Me “What?!”
Passenger “Do we still have flamingoes in Australia¿?” –
Me “You’re shitting me, right?” –
Passenger “No why?”

ME “Besides any flamingo at a zoo, NO – and the last thing ever in Australia that was close to a flamingo was that Lake eyre flamingoes which died out with the rest of the megafauna”

MORONIC PASSENGER “was that the same time as the tasmanian tiger”

Me in a very pissed off voice “a couple of million years difference”
Moron “not everyone knows about the world”

“It’s not about the world, its about knowing your home land and you have the southern cross tattooed on your back” I said in a mocking tone whilst shaking head – I’m thinking “the poor barstard” at this point.

moron “I think I should shut up while I’m ahead”

me “Ahead??”

SILENCE – back to listening to the car radion

John the Aussie

Okay so it goes on – he tells me he ‘Googled’ flamingoes in Australia and apparently the last one in we had in the beautiful country died at the Taronga Zoo not long ago. He also told me he looked up the lake eyre flamingo and is called a Phoeniconotius Eyrensis ( I had to google it to remember it). He also thought I’d like to be informed that the only two countries in the world that don’t have flamingoes are Australian and Antarctica – he was about to go on, but I had to let him down gently saying – “Mate, I really don’t fucking care!”

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~ by John the Aussie on June 30, 2011.

26 Responses to “I’m Just a dumb Miner – whats your excuse? Chicks, Birds & long legs”

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  2. You are a very bright person!

  3. I think you have a skill in telling a “yarn”. Keep the stories coming.

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  8. You’re a policeman of smarminess.

    • Hypocrite or self absorbnes??

      Don’t get me wrong, I ain’t perfect and I really do have my own moments when I end up being at the other end of the beating stick. Just recently I depressingly lost an argument about awnings and annex’ … I had them back to front with their meanings. But I knew that I’d been beat and didn’t attempt to salvage the moment. Bygones be bygones…

      • No, you’re not a hypocrite & it’s healthy to be a little self-absorbed; otherwise, why would you be blogging.
        Looking forward to anything you have to say, (because) you’re not perfect. Perfect people don’t have anything interesting to say. Have at it!

      • Aye, that I can well agree with.

        And for those reading this should really check out Marc’s cinema critique blog over at http://marcwinger.com … he really does seem to put things into reality

  9. […] I’m Just a dumb Miner – whats your excuse? Chicks, Birds & long legs […]

  10. Oooh, *evil chuckle*. You couldn’t make it up! 😉

  11. Nice way to let him down gently. You are so tender.

  12. This entirely reminds me of what goes on here in America. The poor bastards teach their children all the animals of Africa. Every American schoolchild knows what a Zebra, Elephant and Giraffe is. But you talk to them about an opossum, cougar, or a muskrat and they look at you with a sidelong glance and glazed over eyes like you’re talking Mandarin Chinese or some such. It’s pathetic and sad, really.

    • I bought my kids a timeline book if Australian animals for this very reason.

      • Very good idea. Being a ‘wild’ kind of a guy, I made sure my kids all know the local flora and fauna. It’s funny as hell to hear a 3 year old properly identify something, and have a 12 year old neighbor kid go ‘What’s that?” 😉

Go on, give us a yarn or two, mate.

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