I’m Just a dumb Miner – whats your excuse? Bloody Kangawallafox

So now it starts – I think I will be able to write a book a year at this rate.

So those who’ve been to scouts/guide and done the Jambouree’s, camping and general bush stuff. We’ve all heard of the Kangawallafox….

For those that have not heard of a Kangawallafox heres a brief description thanks to Urbandictionary.com

“The Kangawallafox is a viscious nocturnal creature native to Australia, which is the result of the natural cross breeding between kangaroos, wallabys and foxes. Because of it’s highly viscious nature it will eat it’s relatives, kangaroos, wallabys and foxes as well as any other living organisms and occasionally car bodies. Often seen only for a split second, whilst hunting its prey, jumping out in front of cars often to try and devour them. Waring this creature may appear cute & cuddly.”

John The Aussie
Artists impression of a kangawallafox

So the contractor auto sparky rocks up this morning with a brand new dent in the bullbar and some hair still stuck between the spotty and the brace. It’s still Dark because of the overcast at 6:30am and it winter.

So as the first to see this I have to say “Holy shit mate, did you finally get the Kangawallafox?!”

Sparky- “fucking oath mate! tried to swerve and all the bloody barstard did was jump left to right aiming me up. So I floored it before it could jump at me.”

Greenskin Geo – “Wow…. so what a kangawillyfuck? A big kangaroo??”

Sparky “K-anga-wal-la-fox”

Greenskin Geo “Oh I thought you refering to a Big Red Kangaroo”

Sparky “Nah mate A little different” he turns and winks at me with an mishcievous grin.

Greenskin Geo “So whats a Kangawallafox”

Sparky “John can explain it”

Me “okay so this happened just after we decided to become a nation – when hunting anything and everything was still allowed. So some bright cock decided to try let his fox loose on a wallaby – well the fox was more the fetish sort and didn’t quite jump the wallaby like the hunter expected. Sure as shit they find out the chromosomes of both animals are very similar and out pops this wallaby with a fox snout and ears and its tail just as bushy…… thinking they were the first to find this can happen they bred them for 3 or 5 years and (Wholly shit he’s buying IT!!!!!) than moved onto breeding them with a red kangaroo, the big fuckers. So the gene between the wallabies and the roos could be linked, but as soon as the thing hit puberty itg killed the hunter and his two mates + the other previous freak animals in the place, so he story goes.”

Greenskin Geo “Than what”

Sparky “Than that ugly looking thing bred with other kangaroo – but it was found that only one could be born from a female in a lifetime so there not that many – but the nasty fuckers hang about they stay down low with their ears back and tail wagging like a dog. looks cute and all but nastier than a drop bear. They attack enything smaller than them – usually wallabies, stray cats and dogs, sheep, scouts etc. But they love bright light and like moths to a flame I hit the barstard”

John The Aussie
Artists impression of a Drop Bear

Greenskin Geo “Fucking cool, is it a Queensland animal?”

Me “Yeah mate, nearly extinct, but because it’s not native and its dangerous and a pest, your allowed to kill them. You actually get rewards out Mt Isa and Cloncurry way. Taste like shit though.”

Greenskin Geo “You ate one?”

Me “Nah, a few have and reckon it’s more stringy than croc and tastes like rotten lemons.”

Greenskin Geo “Wow, is it still on the side of the road?”

Sparky “Yeah mate, just after the bridge before the grid, had to drag it off the road though, otherwise someone would hit it”

Greenskin Geo “Okay Thanks”

Three hours Later

Greenskin Geo “Hey I got a photo of it if you want a copy?”

Sparky “Fucking What?!”

Greenskin Geo “I got a photo of it… you want me to send it you???”

Sparky & Me “Yeah mate”

Now the picture is very graphic so I decided not to put it up here.  But if you drive down a highway in Australia and see a dead kangaroo on the side of the road – thats all it was but with the tail squashed and the guts out.

Me “Nice shot mate – not often someone gets a picture”

Greenskin Geo walks off proudly.

Greenskin Geo come back an hour before end of shift – “Fucking assholes I was showing everyone all day the fucking kangawallafox until the nurse told me it was just a fucking kangaroo!”

Bit Sharpener 2 points up – Staffies 2 IQ down.

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~ by John the Aussie on June 30, 2011.

5 Responses to “I’m Just a dumb Miner – whats your excuse? Bloody Kangawallafox”

  1. […]  I’m Just a dumb Miner – whats your excuse? Bloody Kangawallafox […]

  2. Great post! Reminds me of the Chupacabra stories around here.

    • I actually had a great conversation with a Texan and a Canadian. The naive Canadian fell into the trap of believing that our argument of which was the most dangerous, kangawallafox and chupacabra. The poor Canadian publicly decided never to travel into the areas in which the inhabited in both countries.

      Much to say the travelling partner of the Canadian shook his head, but never corrected his brethren.

  3. Totally awesome! If you’re ever in the southern U.S. you simply must go snipe hunting!

Go on, give us a yarn or two, mate.

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